Mar 18, 2010

“The Breaking Point”

You decoded my password...
My self.
My soul.
You stole my identity.
And for how long? Months at a time?
And I hadn’t even seen it.
I would have never believed it even if I had seen it -
But how could I know?
Why would I blame you in all of your manipulation?
How could I have ever come to realize?
...it was you all along.
Daddy’s out of the picture now, and you knew that!
He was the only one that had ever warned me about you.
He would have gotten to you.
He would have made you pay for all of my suffering...
one way or another.
He told me to get away from you,
“You broke up with him for a reason.
Don’t get back together with him.”
The only advice he’d ever given to me about a
relationship of mine which he otherwise allowed me to make my own decisions for.

…He’s gone now.
And you knew that.
You used it to your own advantage!
And then there’s Mom and my brother.
Mom and Anthony both love you.
They always have.
They always will.
And why?
Why do they love you so much, I have been trying to figure out?
They love you because you’re going to Medical School!
You’re going to be a doctor and make money.
You’re going to support me so
THEY WON’T HAVE TO!

And whenever we break up?
What do they say?
“What did you do this time, Alexandria?”
WHAT THE FUCK?!
I broke up with you because I deserve better.
Because you are obsessed.
And because I believe that you will either commit suicide or kill me instead!
You cannot bear us not being together!
And this used to scare me -
Scare me so much that I would start dating you again even though I had no emotions left towards you -
Another fault of mine, which you so often loved to criticize me for!
You took advantage!
You knew they loved you!
You knew Daddy didn’t!
You’re happy Daddy died,
“Because you’re the one that caused my father’s death.”
REMEMBER?!
It’s over now.
Everything.
You are not a part of me.
With or without my mother and brother,
I am still Daddy’s Little Girl.
And
YOU
will NOT
disrespect ME
ever
again.
By Alexandria Lanza

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